"And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your heart. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world." --Desiderata
When you've suffered loss and pain in your life (as most people have), it's easy to let yourself feel dismal about our world and future. There are many things about life that are heart wrenching and unfair, and horrible atrocities are committed--one can feel helpless and become quite negative about life. It may not feel this way to you now, but many people suffer through experiences far worse than miscarriage and fertility issues. There are unimaginable hurts that people have endured. It is easier to let oneself slip into feeling powerless,depressed, apathetic, and angry than to slowly pick yourself up and look for the silver lining in painful experiences.
It is difficult to find the upside to negative situations, and seemingly impossible after suffering a miscarriage. That won't stop concerned loved ones from trying to help you find the silver lining. Many women become frustrated with the well-intentioned attempts of others to comfort them with the comments that their previous loss was "meant to be," or "happened for a reason." These statements are probably innocent, but for the woman who has suffered pregnancy loss they have the power to wound deeply. However, part of the process of putting yourself back together involves letting these comments wash over you. You must let these things go and begin to hope again and believe in the world. You may really have to work at finding hope after loss. However, you are pregnant again. There must be some good in this world!
For this week, please fill me with renewed hope about the future. Help me to see the brighter things about life--noticing the beauties in nature, the touch of my partner's hand in mine, and a healthy body that can carry this baby to term. Please help me to release the grief that remains in my heart for my lost baby and for any other previous losses in my life. I want to open my heart and make room for this new baby I am growing inside of me.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Strength in Facing the Unknown
"If God sends us on strong paths we are provided strong shoes." --Corrie TenBoom
You may not believe it right now, but you have the strength to get through this pregnancy. You CAN cope with the anxiety this new pregnancy brings. You CAN cope with the physical and emotional toll that it may take upon you as the weeks and months progress. If you have the unfortunate experience of suffering another miscarriage, you WILL survive it. The odds are in your favor that you will have a healthy pregnancy this time; however, there are some of us who have had a few miscarriages in a row. It is devastating--there is no question about that...but you will survive. You have "stronger shoes" than you realize--this is true for all of us.
Try to remember that if what you imagine to be the "worst case scenario" occurs with this pregnancy for you and your mate--if you can't get pregnant again, or you continue to have problems carrying your baby to term--you CAN still have a family. After three miscarriages, I had to come to terms with this possibility. If we continued to suffer losses, we could use a surrogate/gestational carrier, adopt children, or become foster parents...we were determined to have a bigger family and would reach that goal somehow. Once I realized that we would eventually have the family of our dreams, I felt more peaceful. I had to get real and alter what my dream could look like.
What are your strengths that help carry you through this exciting, yet fearful, time? What are your partner's strengths that are helpful to you? Reflect upon the challenges that you've faced in your life--previous losses, traumatic experiences, sad goodbyes, illness that you've conquered, relationship disappointments. Having a miscarriage often brings up previous losses and hurts in your life. How have you coped during hard times? Draw upon those strengths to help get you through the anxiety right now. Remember that you have coped with pain and uncertainty in the past and you can do it again. It will be well worth it when you are holding your precious baby in your arms.
Please help me to remember that I am strong and brave. This is a challenging journey that I am on, but not an impossible one. There are many women, and couples, who have endured miscarriages and have gone on to have healthy children. I have faith that this will happen for me. Help me to use difficult experiences from my past to help me cope here in the present. Help me to remember that I will realize my dream of becoming a parent or a parent to more children.
You may not believe it right now, but you have the strength to get through this pregnancy. You CAN cope with the anxiety this new pregnancy brings. You CAN cope with the physical and emotional toll that it may take upon you as the weeks and months progress. If you have the unfortunate experience of suffering another miscarriage, you WILL survive it. The odds are in your favor that you will have a healthy pregnancy this time; however, there are some of us who have had a few miscarriages in a row. It is devastating--there is no question about that...but you will survive. You have "stronger shoes" than you realize--this is true for all of us.
Try to remember that if what you imagine to be the "worst case scenario" occurs with this pregnancy for you and your mate--if you can't get pregnant again, or you continue to have problems carrying your baby to term--you CAN still have a family. After three miscarriages, I had to come to terms with this possibility. If we continued to suffer losses, we could use a surrogate/gestational carrier, adopt children, or become foster parents...we were determined to have a bigger family and would reach that goal somehow. Once I realized that we would eventually have the family of our dreams, I felt more peaceful. I had to get real and alter what my dream could look like.
What are your strengths that help carry you through this exciting, yet fearful, time? What are your partner's strengths that are helpful to you? Reflect upon the challenges that you've faced in your life--previous losses, traumatic experiences, sad goodbyes, illness that you've conquered, relationship disappointments. Having a miscarriage often brings up previous losses and hurts in your life. How have you coped during hard times? Draw upon those strengths to help get you through the anxiety right now. Remember that you have coped with pain and uncertainty in the past and you can do it again. It will be well worth it when you are holding your precious baby in your arms.
Please help me to remember that I am strong and brave. This is a challenging journey that I am on, but not an impossible one. There are many women, and couples, who have endured miscarriages and have gone on to have healthy children. I have faith that this will happen for me. Help me to use difficult experiences from my past to help me cope here in the present. Help me to remember that I will realize my dream of becoming a parent or a parent to more children.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Hope
"Perhaps this very instant is your time." -Louise Bogan
Let yourself indulge for a moment that quite possibly this is your time! Most likely, this pregnancy is taking root deep in your body and you are moving towards knowing this baby. It is OK to allow yourself to think about this new life, imagine if it might be a boy or a girl, and begin to love this child. It is natural to be thinking this way and beginning to bond with this baby growing inside of you...even if you've suffered a loss, or losses. Each miscarriage survivor handles her first trimester in her own way--some try to pretend they're not pregnant, some are full of hope, some try to stay grounded, or some have a combination of emotions. Every strategy to cope through the first trimester is really an attempt to protect yourself emotionally should you suffer another pregnancy loss. There really is no way to protect yourself from that pain if indeed you suffer another loss--you will grieve and eventually get back on your path to parenthood.
Hope is an amazing emotion--so necessary for one's spirit, sense of resilience, and courage to keep living each day. There are many challenges in life--aside from miscarriage and fertility problems--and most people need a morsel of hope to get through the hard times. Hope and the belief that there is good in the world, is what helps to get us out of bed on the days in life when we fear we can't do it. It is important to remember that there is always hope on this path to parenthood. With each passing day, your chance of miscarriage becomes less likely and it is important to hold onto this hope. Miscarriage is unique from some losses in that you have the opportunity to try again--and this is a blessing that you should pause to recognize.
What is your particular style of handling this precarious first trimester? Are you trying to pretend that you're not pregnant? Do you allow yourself a few fleeting moments of happiness about this baby? How do you think anxiety affects your body and your baby? Do you sometimes feel guilty enjoying this pregnancy because you miss your lost baby or babies? How has hope played a role in your life?
Help me to realize that I am not jinxing myself if I begin to love this baby. If I suffer another miscarriage, I will be devastated--whether I allowed myself to rejoice in this pregnancy or whether I pretended it did not exist. Help me to send little waves of positive energy and love to help this baby grow inside of me. Bless my lost baby, or babies, and let them know how much I miss them. Help me to understand that my excitement and love for this new baby in no way diminishes my love for my lost baby, or babies. Help me to indulge in hope this week.
Let yourself indulge for a moment that quite possibly this is your time! Most likely, this pregnancy is taking root deep in your body and you are moving towards knowing this baby. It is OK to allow yourself to think about this new life, imagine if it might be a boy or a girl, and begin to love this child. It is natural to be thinking this way and beginning to bond with this baby growing inside of you...even if you've suffered a loss, or losses. Each miscarriage survivor handles her first trimester in her own way--some try to pretend they're not pregnant, some are full of hope, some try to stay grounded, or some have a combination of emotions. Every strategy to cope through the first trimester is really an attempt to protect yourself emotionally should you suffer another pregnancy loss. There really is no way to protect yourself from that pain if indeed you suffer another loss--you will grieve and eventually get back on your path to parenthood.
Hope is an amazing emotion--so necessary for one's spirit, sense of resilience, and courage to keep living each day. There are many challenges in life--aside from miscarriage and fertility problems--and most people need a morsel of hope to get through the hard times. Hope and the belief that there is good in the world, is what helps to get us out of bed on the days in life when we fear we can't do it. It is important to remember that there is always hope on this path to parenthood. With each passing day, your chance of miscarriage becomes less likely and it is important to hold onto this hope. Miscarriage is unique from some losses in that you have the opportunity to try again--and this is a blessing that you should pause to recognize.
What is your particular style of handling this precarious first trimester? Are you trying to pretend that you're not pregnant? Do you allow yourself a few fleeting moments of happiness about this baby? How do you think anxiety affects your body and your baby? Do you sometimes feel guilty enjoying this pregnancy because you miss your lost baby or babies? How has hope played a role in your life?
Help me to realize that I am not jinxing myself if I begin to love this baby. If I suffer another miscarriage, I will be devastated--whether I allowed myself to rejoice in this pregnancy or whether I pretended it did not exist. Help me to send little waves of positive energy and love to help this baby grow inside of me. Bless my lost baby, or babies, and let them know how much I miss them. Help me to understand that my excitement and love for this new baby in no way diminishes my love for my lost baby, or babies. Help me to indulge in hope this week.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Acknowledging Your Partner
"The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind I was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along." -Rumi
Sometimes in the quest for children, or growing a family, we forget our partners in the midst of it all. The urge to get pregnant and maintain pregnancy can be all consuming. This is natural for women, especially when they have experienced a loss. For this week, however, try to spend some time thinking about your partner--and their role in your life, in the life of your past pregnancy and miscarriage, and their role in this current pregnancy. Often the partner's feelings are not recognized--by us and others--and they receive less support than the pregnant woman who has grieved a pregnancy loss. Think about how your partner is doing today and feeling about this pregnancy. Are they worried about you? Are they feeling helpless because they can't control the outcome of this pregnancy?
My husband had much sadness after the loss of each miscarriage. We comforted each other and understood each other's grief in a way that others couldn't share. In general, I think he was able to mourn the loss of the baby and move on more quickly than I was able to (after all, the baby was in my body and I was attaching in a different way than he was--especially because I didn't look pregnant yet). He quickly moved on to worrying about me...he felt so powerless to make thinks better and that was difficult for him. He was my rock through the whole process. Looking back now, I think I was so wrapped up in my own grief; it was hard for me to comfort or reassure him as much as he may have needed. In fact, there were irrational moments where I felt angry with him that he didn't have to experience the physical ramifications of the loss or that maybe it was his genes that caused a problem. These are ugly thoughts to have about the person you love, but it was a part of my emotional process at the time.
Take a moment to remember how you met, what made you fall in love with them, and how you fantasized about having a family. How do you find time to make each other feel special and important, outside of the realm of creating a family? How have you kept the flame alive in your intimate life, when sex has likely become about baby-making for you? What do you value in them and have you shared it with them lately? What can you do to reconnect with them during this special time? You need their support right now and they likely need yours. Take time to recognize the important role they play in your life and in your baby's life.
Help me to take a step back from myself today and reflect upon my mate. I am sometimes so consumed with my body, my worries, and this pregnancy that I forget to acknowledge the person who helped me create this life. Help me to bring them into this pregnancy and to involve them in this process. Help me to share with them all the ways that they are important to me besides being the "sperm donor."
Sometimes in the quest for children, or growing a family, we forget our partners in the midst of it all. The urge to get pregnant and maintain pregnancy can be all consuming. This is natural for women, especially when they have experienced a loss. For this week, however, try to spend some time thinking about your partner--and their role in your life, in the life of your past pregnancy and miscarriage, and their role in this current pregnancy. Often the partner's feelings are not recognized--by us and others--and they receive less support than the pregnant woman who has grieved a pregnancy loss. Think about how your partner is doing today and feeling about this pregnancy. Are they worried about you? Are they feeling helpless because they can't control the outcome of this pregnancy?
My husband had much sadness after the loss of each miscarriage. We comforted each other and understood each other's grief in a way that others couldn't share. In general, I think he was able to mourn the loss of the baby and move on more quickly than I was able to (after all, the baby was in my body and I was attaching in a different way than he was--especially because I didn't look pregnant yet). He quickly moved on to worrying about me...he felt so powerless to make thinks better and that was difficult for him. He was my rock through the whole process. Looking back now, I think I was so wrapped up in my own grief; it was hard for me to comfort or reassure him as much as he may have needed. In fact, there were irrational moments where I felt angry with him that he didn't have to experience the physical ramifications of the loss or that maybe it was his genes that caused a problem. These are ugly thoughts to have about the person you love, but it was a part of my emotional process at the time.
Take a moment to remember how you met, what made you fall in love with them, and how you fantasized about having a family. How do you find time to make each other feel special and important, outside of the realm of creating a family? How have you kept the flame alive in your intimate life, when sex has likely become about baby-making for you? What do you value in them and have you shared it with them lately? What can you do to reconnect with them during this special time? You need their support right now and they likely need yours. Take time to recognize the important role they play in your life and in your baby's life.
Help me to take a step back from myself today and reflect upon my mate. I am sometimes so consumed with my body, my worries, and this pregnancy that I forget to acknowledge the person who helped me create this life. Help me to bring them into this pregnancy and to involve them in this process. Help me to share with them all the ways that they are important to me besides being the "sperm donor."
Monday, October 25, 2010
Crisis
"A crisis forces you to create a new life, one that responds to your deepest needs...A crisis shakes up the status quo, spurring you to reevaluate your life and to make the corrections that lead to joy and success." --Laura Day, WELCOME TO YOUR CRISIS: HOW TO USE THE POWER OF CRISIS TO CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT
How did having a miscarriage create a crisis in your life? In what ways did it alter the way you view the world? In what ways did it alter your feelings about pregnancy...how is it impacting you today? Crises arise out of situations that come suddenly and unexpectedly; if one is completely unprepared for what occurs, it is not uncommon for a crisis to happen. In clinical terms, we call the crisis a "precipitating event." Often this event has a ripple effect that influences many areas of a person's life and functioning--both in positive and negative ways.
This week, spend a few moments reflecting on what impact the crisis of miscarriage had in your life and how you are moving forward from it. It is important to recognize if you allowed yourself to grieve the loss and move on when you felt ready. Now you are pregnant again--likely feeling excited and scared at the same time. Many women experience the crisis of miscarriage to take away some of the innocence and magic of pregnancy and motherhood. This loss of "innocence" can be saddening, yet remember that pregnancy is a means to an end. In other words, the end goal is to have a healthy baby not just to have a blissful and magical pregnancy. The crisis of miscarriage can help one be more realistic that having a family is a process.
What have been the repercussions in your life from the crisis of miscarriage? Do you view pregnancy and parenthood differently? Do you feel jaded and like the "Scrooge of Pregnancy"? Do you feel in crisis now that you are pregnant again? How do you best cope with crisis? How does your partner cope with crisis? Did you learn anything about your loss experience and your particular way of coping with it that can help you now or in the future?
This week, please help me to understand the ways that the crisis of miscarriage affected my life and feelings about pregnancy. It is important for me to feel calm, and not in crisis, as I am now pregnant again...and need to focus on taking good care of myself. This current pregnancy may have created a mini-crisis of anxiety for me. Help me to be strong and comfort me in the moments when I feel overwhelmed and full of despair. Help me to see that I can make it through no matter how this pregnancy turns out. Help me to identify coping strategies that were helpful so that I may utilize them in the future if the need should arise.
How did having a miscarriage create a crisis in your life? In what ways did it alter the way you view the world? In what ways did it alter your feelings about pregnancy...how is it impacting you today? Crises arise out of situations that come suddenly and unexpectedly; if one is completely unprepared for what occurs, it is not uncommon for a crisis to happen. In clinical terms, we call the crisis a "precipitating event." Often this event has a ripple effect that influences many areas of a person's life and functioning--both in positive and negative ways.
This week, spend a few moments reflecting on what impact the crisis of miscarriage had in your life and how you are moving forward from it. It is important to recognize if you allowed yourself to grieve the loss and move on when you felt ready. Now you are pregnant again--likely feeling excited and scared at the same time. Many women experience the crisis of miscarriage to take away some of the innocence and magic of pregnancy and motherhood. This loss of "innocence" can be saddening, yet remember that pregnancy is a means to an end. In other words, the end goal is to have a healthy baby not just to have a blissful and magical pregnancy. The crisis of miscarriage can help one be more realistic that having a family is a process.
What have been the repercussions in your life from the crisis of miscarriage? Do you view pregnancy and parenthood differently? Do you feel jaded and like the "Scrooge of Pregnancy"? Do you feel in crisis now that you are pregnant again? How do you best cope with crisis? How does your partner cope with crisis? Did you learn anything about your loss experience and your particular way of coping with it that can help you now or in the future?
This week, please help me to understand the ways that the crisis of miscarriage affected my life and feelings about pregnancy. It is important for me to feel calm, and not in crisis, as I am now pregnant again...and need to focus on taking good care of myself. This current pregnancy may have created a mini-crisis of anxiety for me. Help me to be strong and comfort me in the moments when I feel overwhelmed and full of despair. Help me to see that I can make it through no matter how this pregnancy turns out. Help me to identify coping strategies that were helpful so that I may utilize them in the future if the need should arise.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Letting Go of Perfection
"So what I want to say to you today is this: if this sounds, in any way, familiar to you, if you have been trying to be perfect in one way or another, too, then make today...the day to put down the backpack. Trying to be perfect may be sort of inevitable for people like us, who are smart and ambitious and interested in the world and in its good opinion. But at one level, it's too hard, and at another, it's too cheap and easy...But this is worse: that someday, sometime, you will be somewhere, maybe on a day like today--maybe something bad will have happened: you will have lost someone you loved, or failed at something you wanted to succeed at very much. And sitting there, you will fall into the center of yourself. You will look for that core to sustain you. If you have been perfect all your life, and have managed to meet all the expectations of your family, your friends, your community, your society, chances are excellent that there will be a black hole where your core ought to be. Don't take that chance...And it will make all the difference in the world. Take it from someone who has left the backpack full of bricks behind. Every day feels light as a feather. --Anna Quindlen's Commencement Speech, Mt. Holyoke College
In our culture today women are focused on perfection. Much of their lives are spent in trying to please the people around them--being the good daughter, the thoughtful friend, the true partner. Many women extend this quest for perfection into pregnancy and motherhood--aiming for a perfect pregnancy, being the vision of a healthy mom-to-be, the tip top nurturer for this new life growing inside of them. Part of the grief for women suffering miscarriages is coming to terms with a sense that their bodies failed them, and were somehow imperfect. In particular, women who have conditions in which their body attacks the unborn child often feel betrayed by their bodies (as in Antiphospholipid Sydrome). It is not uncommon to experience feelings of disappointment, and even temporary hatred, towards one's own body after suffering a miscarriage. However, it is necessary and healing for all women to let go of the quest to be perfect in the motherhood and pregnancy realm.
This is a good lesson to learn now because in becoming a parent, you will quickly feel less than perfect. It is important to understand that there really is no "perfect" anything--pregnancy, husband, job, child, etc...and you will not be perfect in every way. Let it go and you will notice a new freedom. Take some time to reflect upon what really matters and how you truly feel about yourself. As the quote suggests, you need to have a strong inner core and sense of self to enjoy and cope with life. Reflect on the unique aspects of yourself that you are proud of---and ones that you want to work on. You have some time to focus on yourself right now, before a baby arrives, so seize this time! Think about who you are, what is important to you, and how you want to behave as a mother/partner/woman/person in the universe. You will be a more loving and compassionate parent if you are proud of the person that you are.
Please help me to lighten my burden this week by knowing that I do not have to be perfect or please everyone. I shouldn't have to be perfect to please myself either. I have enough to focus on right now and I need to support and nurture my inner self. I may have been disappointed in my body by the previous miscarriage, but I really need to be kind to myself right now. Help me to see myself clearly, to cherish the parts about me I am especially proud of, and to embrace my imperfections as well.
In our culture today women are focused on perfection. Much of their lives are spent in trying to please the people around them--being the good daughter, the thoughtful friend, the true partner. Many women extend this quest for perfection into pregnancy and motherhood--aiming for a perfect pregnancy, being the vision of a healthy mom-to-be, the tip top nurturer for this new life growing inside of them. Part of the grief for women suffering miscarriages is coming to terms with a sense that their bodies failed them, and were somehow imperfect. In particular, women who have conditions in which their body attacks the unborn child often feel betrayed by their bodies (as in Antiphospholipid Sydrome). It is not uncommon to experience feelings of disappointment, and even temporary hatred, towards one's own body after suffering a miscarriage. However, it is necessary and healing for all women to let go of the quest to be perfect in the motherhood and pregnancy realm.
This is a good lesson to learn now because in becoming a parent, you will quickly feel less than perfect. It is important to understand that there really is no "perfect" anything--pregnancy, husband, job, child, etc...and you will not be perfect in every way. Let it go and you will notice a new freedom. Take some time to reflect upon what really matters and how you truly feel about yourself. As the quote suggests, you need to have a strong inner core and sense of self to enjoy and cope with life. Reflect on the unique aspects of yourself that you are proud of---and ones that you want to work on. You have some time to focus on yourself right now, before a baby arrives, so seize this time! Think about who you are, what is important to you, and how you want to behave as a mother/partner/woman/person in the universe. You will be a more loving and compassionate parent if you are proud of the person that you are.
Please help me to lighten my burden this week by knowing that I do not have to be perfect or please everyone. I shouldn't have to be perfect to please myself either. I have enough to focus on right now and I need to support and nurture my inner self. I may have been disappointed in my body by the previous miscarriage, but I really need to be kind to myself right now. Help me to see myself clearly, to cherish the parts about me I am especially proud of, and to embrace my imperfections as well.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Accepting Support From Others
"Thanks for showing me that even on the darkest, rainiest of days the sun is still there, just behind the clouds, waiting to shine again." --Lisa Harlow
You are likely feeling vulnerable right now and beginning to build up a wall to protect yourself--from hurting again if there was a disappointment, from friends and loved ones because you don't want to share that you're pregnant again in case of a loss, and possibly even from your partner because you want to to wallow in your anxiety alone. Remember that you are worthy and deserving of love and support, especially during this time. You may not be feeling well already and certainly you are worrying because you've had at least one previous loss.
For many women, it is uncomfortable to be vulnerable, needy, anxious, and emotional--we may not be that kind of person that likes to depend on other people. We may be the kind of person that is always there when a friend needs support, but feels uncomfortable when the roles are reversed. But, the roles are reversed now. Try to allow others to help get you what you need--a backrub, a "chick flick," a nice walk along the beach with a friend, a friend to call after each doctor appointment, or for your partner to hold your hand and tell you "everything is going to be ok." One of the first lessons of motherhood is that you can't do it alone. You will need support, almost immediately. So, if this is a challenge for you--allow yourself to begin the process of letting some trusted people assist and comfort you. You might be surprised how much it helps...and how rewarding it is for your partner or close friends to be there for you.
Do you generally let others help you? Have you been able to allow your partner or loves ones share part of the burden of this pregnancy? What support feels the most beneficial for you--and have you communicated that to the necessary people that can help? How will this process of accepting support from others help you as a mother? Do you want to provide a role model for your children of someone who can accept help from others?
Help me to relax this week and begin to let down my guard. I feel like I am on the edge and in a fight or flight mode. It is uncomfortable to be scared and vulnerable, but I do have loved ones that I can rely upon. It is hard to not be in control...and to not share what's going on in my life with others. Please help me to identify a few trusted souls that I can share my pregnancy with to help ease the burden. Help me to accept loving support from people around me--all of this help will also benefit my growing baby.
You are likely feeling vulnerable right now and beginning to build up a wall to protect yourself--from hurting again if there was a disappointment, from friends and loved ones because you don't want to share that you're pregnant again in case of a loss, and possibly even from your partner because you want to to wallow in your anxiety alone. Remember that you are worthy and deserving of love and support, especially during this time. You may not be feeling well already and certainly you are worrying because you've had at least one previous loss.
For many women, it is uncomfortable to be vulnerable, needy, anxious, and emotional--we may not be that kind of person that likes to depend on other people. We may be the kind of person that is always there when a friend needs support, but feels uncomfortable when the roles are reversed. But, the roles are reversed now. Try to allow others to help get you what you need--a backrub, a "chick flick," a nice walk along the beach with a friend, a friend to call after each doctor appointment, or for your partner to hold your hand and tell you "everything is going to be ok." One of the first lessons of motherhood is that you can't do it alone. You will need support, almost immediately. So, if this is a challenge for you--allow yourself to begin the process of letting some trusted people assist and comfort you. You might be surprised how much it helps...and how rewarding it is for your partner or close friends to be there for you.
Do you generally let others help you? Have you been able to allow your partner or loves ones share part of the burden of this pregnancy? What support feels the most beneficial for you--and have you communicated that to the necessary people that can help? How will this process of accepting support from others help you as a mother? Do you want to provide a role model for your children of someone who can accept help from others?
Help me to relax this week and begin to let down my guard. I feel like I am on the edge and in a fight or flight mode. It is uncomfortable to be scared and vulnerable, but I do have loved ones that I can rely upon. It is hard to not be in control...and to not share what's going on in my life with others. Please help me to identify a few trusted souls that I can share my pregnancy with to help ease the burden. Help me to accept loving support from people around me--all of this help will also benefit my growing baby.
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