Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Accepting Support From Others

"Thanks for showing me that even on the darkest, rainiest of days the sun is still there, just behind the clouds, waiting to shine again." --Lisa Harlow

You are likely feeling vulnerable right now and beginning to build up a wall to protect yourself--from hurting again if there was a disappointment, from friends and loved ones because you don't want to share that you're pregnant again in case of a loss, and possibly even from your partner because you want to to wallow in your anxiety alone. Remember that you are worthy and deserving of love and support, especially during this time. You may not be feeling well already and certainly you are worrying because you've had at least one previous loss.

For many women, it is uncomfortable to be vulnerable, needy, anxious, and emotional--we may not be that kind of person that likes to depend on other people. We may be the kind of person that is always there when a friend needs support, but feels uncomfortable when the roles are reversed. But, the roles are reversed now. Try to allow others to help get you what you need--a backrub, a "chick flick," a nice walk along the beach with a friend, a friend to call after each doctor appointment, or for your partner to hold your hand and tell you "everything is going to be ok." One of the first lessons of motherhood is that you can't do it alone. You will need support, almost immediately. So, if this is a challenge for you--allow yourself to begin the process of letting some trusted people assist and comfort you. You might be surprised how much it helps...and how rewarding it is for your partner or close friends to be there for you.

Do you generally let others help you? Have you been able to allow your partner or loves ones share part of the burden of this pregnancy? What support feels the most beneficial for you--and have you communicated that to the necessary people that can help? How will this process of accepting support from others help you as a mother? Do you want to provide a role model for your children of someone who can accept help from others?

Help me to relax this week and begin to let down my guard. I feel like I am on the edge and in a fight or flight mode. It is uncomfortable to be scared and vulnerable, but I do have loved ones that I can rely upon. It is hard to not be in control...and to not share what's going on in my life with others. Please help me to identify a few trusted souls that I can share my pregnancy with to help ease the burden. Help me to accept loving support from people around me--all of this help will also benefit my growing baby.

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