Seeking Your Internal Home

"Alone time is when I distance myself from the voices of the world so I can hear my own." --Oprah Winfrey

It can be such a challenge to silence our minds and the world around us. We are bombarded everyday with so much information, things to remember, places to go, people to see, errands to run, people to listen to...it can be truly overwhelming. This can feel particularly relevant in the midst of reproductive challenges and fears--in addition to the normal chatter of life, there are more doctor's appointments, tests to be done, family and friends to update, and partners who also need their thoughts and feelings validated. Of course, one is also supposed to manage work, a home, pets, and your own aching self! Now you may be feeling burdened with people's comments about your current pregnancy...or you may have chosen to keep the pregnancy quiet for the time being, which comes with its own set of difficulties, too.

Wherever you are for today, make time to quiet your mind and begin listening to yourself. How are youfeeling today? If you heart could speak, what would it say? Are you listening to yourself or does it feel odd to "check in" with yourself? In my therapy work with adolescents, I often discuss the concept of an "internal home" with them. In life, it is often comforting if you have a place inside that you can go to when you need comfort, hope, sustenance, or guidance. This should be a place of peacefulness and should reflect your authentic self--it should feel like a home inside yourself. For me, I picture sitting on a rock beach on Flathead Lake in Montana. It is a spot I've visited since my childhood and feels familiar, safe, and comforting to me. It captures much of what I hold sacred: the sound of water, a clear horizon, mountains above the shore, a spiritual presence, and wonderful memories of family and childhood. I can hear my own voice there--and it's great that I can access it anytime if I just slow down and close my eyes for a few minutes.

What is your internal home like? Do you often visit it and does it bring you comfort? Do you like being able to rely on yourself to soothe and heal the broken parts? Or do you prefer talking things through with a friend or loved one? Are there times when it might be good to tune everyone else out for a moment? What do you wish for your unborn baby in this regard? The better you are equipped to nurture yourself...the easier it will be to nurture your little baby on the way.

This week, help me to take a few moments to quiet the world around me. Help me to take a few deep breaths and really check in with myself. If I am uncomfortable being alone with myself, help me recognize that...and help me begin to prepare for moments of solitary strength and confidence that will be needed on this journey to motherhood. All that I do today to become more self-aware will benefit myself and my child.